Wednesday, December 16, 2009

just thinking

I laid in bed for an hour tonight just thinking. So I figured i probably should get up and do something. I thought about a couple things like how much i love my husband, Christmas presents, the Christmas store at church tomorrow where i get to help kids shop for presents for their parents, how people treat thier children differently, about how big my little girls are getting, about birthday parties the next few months, things like that.

I think how much i love my husband sticks out most. I have had friends over the years tell me how lucky i am and one friend even told her boyfriend one time that he needed to be more like Kris :-) Kris is wonderful, loving, respectful, and caring but not perfect. Not to discount anything about him but i think a big reason that i have heard too many times "i wish he would be like Kris" or "my husband is not like that" is bc i don't talk bad about my husband and I don't complain about him. There have been times when everyone is complaining and i have things to say but i bite my tongue bc if I don't like something then i need to tell him and not be disrespectful behind his back by talking about him.

I see it like a reality show, bear with me while i explain it. Almost all reality show couples end up breaking up, why? (Hulk Hogan and his wife, Jon and Kate, Jessica and Nick, the only ones I can think of that are together are Ozzy and Sharon) Drama sells right? The TV show picks out the faults of the couples and then focuses on them. There are things that all of us don't shout from the rooftops that our spouse does bc it annoys us slightly. But imagine the whole world is focusing on that trait that didn't bother you before but after it being magnified by the media it all of sudden seems really big and bothers you. Reality shows and talking bad about your spouse to other people are adding fuel to a fire.

I'm not trying to condemn anyone, I'm just reflecting on my marriage, and what people have said to me over the years and trying to figure out why they said those things. I just encourage you to next time before you complain, think about telling him first that it bothers you, he can change it, not your friend. I have told Kris what habits annoy me over the years and he has told me too. I have to say he does a much better job than me on changing the thing he does that annoys me than i do changing the thing that annoys him. I am still working on not "cleaning" things away to get them out of sight but where he can't find them later :-) We will always be a work in progress.

Over the last 7 years I would say i have my associates in Kris 101, now I am working on my bachelors, then my masters, then my doctorate, and so on. You can't stop learning about your spouse bc just like education fields out there they are ever changing.